


"I Know You For Real": A Preview of the Johnlock Kiss

by wellthengameover



Series: Sherlock Meta [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Analysis, Character Analysis, Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, First Kiss, Meta, Other, Season/Series 05, Sherlock Meta, TJLC | The Johnlock Conspiracy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 21:45:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5264783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthengameover/pseuds/wellthengameover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The scene where Sherlock and John fight about whether or not John thinks Sherlock is a fraud is pretty much a summary of the reasons they aren’t together: Sherlock thinks John only cares about Sherlock’s “utility,” so he panics when he thinks John might not think he’s clever anymore. John loves Sherlock anyway but can’t say anything because he thinks Sherlock is only angry about the work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I Know You For Real": A Preview of the Johnlock Kiss

The scene where Sherlock and John fight about whether or not John thinks Sherlock is a fraud is pretty much a summary of [the reasons they aren’t together](http://deducingbbcsherlock.tumblr.com/post/79490342331/hi-my-friend-my-desk-is-littered-with-post-it): Sherlock thinks John only cares about Sherlock’s “utility,” so he panics when he thinks John might not think he’s clever anymore. John loves Sherlock anyway but can’t say anything because he thinks Sherlock is only angry about the work.

This scene comes at a really tense, highly charged moment: once NSY arrests Sherlock, the rest of Jim’s plan is set on its course. As the scene begins, there’s spooky music, Sherlock has just discovered that Jim’s got cameras in the flat, and Greg and Sally have just tried to bring to bring Sherlock in for questioning, so there’s a slight feeling of betrayal. The whole scene is darkly lit; Sherlock is even lit from below:

Sherlock and John are helpless:

> SHERLOCK: They’ll be deciding.  
>  JOHN: Deciding?  
>  SHERLOCK: Whether to come back with a warrant and arrest me.  
>  JOHN: You think?  
>  SHERLOCK: Standard procedure.

We know helplessness isn’t something either of them handle well.

The point is that this scene is really charged, which means we get closer to honesty about feelings from both Sherlock and John. It’s probably the closest they come to both talking about feelings at the same time in seasons one and two (and possibly season three, as well).

Sherlock starts the conversation because he looks up and sees John looking out the window:

This is definitely a covert glance: he doesn’t move his head, just his eyes. So he’s checking to see what John’s thinking about NSY saying Sherlock might be a fraud, that he kidnapped the kids. Starting the conversation is a preemptive strike: he’s going to say John doesn’t believe in him before John says it.

Sherlock doesn’t look up at all in the first half of the conversation; both he and John are pretending like it’s no big deal, like there’s no possibility of doubt. But it’s obviously a big deal or Sherlock wouldn’t have brought it up.

> JOHN: … People’ll think …  
>  SHERLOCK: I don’t _care_ what people think.

We know “people” is often used as a stand in for “John.” And this is the first point when Sherlock starts to get angry; he’s disdainful when he says “I don't  _care_ what people think.” He’s reminding himself/convincing himself that he doesn’t need John or John’s validation:

> JOHN: You’d care if they thought you were stupid, or wrong.  
>  SHERLOCK: No, that would just make them stupid or wrong.

John’s so sensitive to Sherlock receiving bad press because the same thing happened to Sholto, which was probably [very painful for John](http://shylocks.tumblr.com/post/94920621581/the-way-i-see-it-tbh-is-that-sholto-has-two-main) as [Sholto pulled away from him](http://bill-holmes.tumblr.com/post/101934289090/can-you-believe-this). He feels Sherlock doing the same thing, and it’s the first time in this conversation John starts to act like things are going badly with Jim/NSY. John breaks his casual act and gets a bit angry:

> JOHN: Sherlock, I don’t want the world believing you’re-
> 
> SHERLOCK: That I am what?

This is the first time Sherlock looks up, and he watches John for almost five seconds before he speaks. They’re paying attention only to each other, and now _they’re not trying to hid it_. Sherlock’s voice gets quiet, gets dangerous when he says “That I am what?” John was unwilling to say “fraud” a moment ago, and now Sherlock’s pushing him. It’s another preemptive strike from Sherlock: if John doubts him, he’s going to make John come out and say it. This whole conversation is getting dangerous. 

As soon as John has “a fraud,” Sherlock immediately tries to make some black humor out of the whole thing: he leans back in his chair like he’s relaxed and rolls his eyes. Except we know he’s not relaxed because he loses it a moment later. But first:

> SHERLOCK: You’re worried they’re right.  
>  JOHN: What?  
>  SHERLOCK: You’re worried they’re right about me.  
>  JOHN: No.
> 
> SHERLOCK: That’s why you’re so upset. You can’t even entertain the possibility that they might be right. You’re afraid that you’ve been taken in as well.  
>  JOHN _(turning away and look out of the window again)_ : No I’m not. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

Sherlock’s looking into the middle ground: not at the computer, not at John, not at anything in particular. He’s thinking “Of course he thinks you’re a fraud; it’s only logical - look at all the evidence and it’s not like he’s got any reason to be loyal to you. You knew it would be like this. He’s no different than Sebastian and it’s your own fault for thinking he was. You’re only good for one thing - utility - and without that, he’ll leave. It’s only practical. If he’s so stupid as to think you’re a fraud, then you don’t need him, right? Right. Whatever version of you he thinks he likes is one that will never exist and he’s just figured it out. And even if he hasn’t, he will. This is _your fault,_ Sherlock.” More than being disappointed in John, he’s disappointed in _himself_ for expecting any better. He’s disgusted with himself - his lip is curling a little - for being so weak to expect better.

_I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof._

Sherlock won’t listen to John when John says he doesn’t think Sherlock’s a fraud. Even though John says it three times, Sherlock just keeps talking over him: more preemptive strikes.

_It was self-defense in advance._

If John’s going to leave/not care about him anymore, Sherlock wants it done. But he doesn’t manage to mask his feelings for long or play it off as nothing because this is the thing he’s most afraid of:

>   
> 
> 
> SHERLOCK: Moriarty is playing with your mind too. _(Furious, he slams his hand onto the table.)_ Can’t you _see_ what’s going on?

_The only time Sherlock loses it in TRF is when he thinks John’s doubting him._ Not when NSY arrests him - which is _Greg -_ not at Kitty Reily’s flat, not when [Jim comes to tea](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/100385989117/jim-comes-for-tea).

After Sherlock loses his temper, John just watches Sherlock for four seconds and says nothing:

He’s thinking it so hard you can almost hear it: “I love you; I love you, _don’t you get it_?” I think he really considers saying it here, but he thinks Sherlock’s only upset about the work and the game with Jim. “That’s all he cares about; you _know_ that. You can’t expect him to feel things like that; it’s not fair to him.” John loves Sherlock so much that he loves him even though he knows Sherlock can’t give him what he wants.

They’ve been staring at each other with intense eye contact for a while, and then John looks away:

>   
> 
> 
> JOHN: No, I know you for real.

John doesn’t answer Sherlock until he looks away because that’s not really what he wants to say.

But Sherlock’s still nervous:

>   
> 
> 
> SHERLOCK: A hundred percent?

He can’t even look at John when he says it. And like so many other times when things get too emotional between them, one of them backs it off with a joke:

>   
> 
> 
> JOHN: Well, nobody could fake being such an annoying dick _all_ the time.

John can look at Sherlock again, now - and Sherlock looks at John again, too - because it’s all safe. But they came pretty close for a moment:

_I need you to believe in me._

_I would do anything for you._

So this whole scene is basically a summary of the deep problems keeping them apart: insecurity on both sides, miscommunication on both sides. Sherlock concentrates on what he feels is his one value - the work - and so John thinks Sherlock has no feelings. Then, when Sherlock tries to open up, John can’t let himself believe that Sherlock is how he desperately wants him to be and so shuts Sherlock down (like in THoB). That means Sherlock is all the more sure his only value is the work, so he hides more and more feelings, which makes John think he doesn’t have any.

So I think we’ll be strongly paralleling this scene as The Johnlock Kiss scene. Here’s why:

1) It’s a summary of the deep problems that have to be resolved for Johnlock.

2) It’s the closest they both come to talking about feelings at the same time in seasons one and two, so it makes sense to parallel it when they _actually_ talk about their feelings. It’s _high emotional stakes, not high physical stakes -_ they’re not about to get blown up - that get them the closest, which is part of the reason why [I _don’t_ think The Johnlock Kiss will be in _The Three Garridebs_ moment](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/101121024682/the-johnlock-arc). I think it’ll be just like this.

3) [This scene is a parallel of the joy of redemption from ASiB with Irene](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/111400354387/the-joy-of-redemption), when Jim does a trial run of [The Final Problem](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/105279839079/the-final-problem).

These two scenes parallel each other:

  


And so do these two:

  


Basically, they share some major themes: **  
**

**The plane scene in ASiB = NSY at Baker Street attempting to arrest Sherlock for the first time in TRF:**

  * Sherlock is humiliated about the Work
  * By someone in power who’s supposed to be on his side
  * Because they think he’s not clever enough **  
**



**The office scene in ASiB = The “I know you for real” scene in TRF:**

  * Sherlock _preemptively_ rejecting sentiment
  * From people who love him
  * In a much colder way than THoB



4) I don’t think we’re done with the doubt theme. That’s how Jim works - he plays with people’s minds. He’ll never be able to get John to doubt Sherlock, but there was one thing he didn’t do in TRF and I think he’s saving it up: in TRF, other people doubted Sherlock, but Sherlock always knew he was “for real.”

Remember that what happened in THoB. [stephisanerd](http://stephisanerd.tumblr.com/post/79379432223/sherlocks-disguise-on-believing-in-a) says:

> … Sherlock was under the influence of a fear-inducing drug [in THoB]. John, under the influence of it, sees the hound as _he expects to see it_. It doesn’t create fear - **it acts on the things you already fear. The drug acted on Sherlock’s fear and made him doubt his abilities, his cleverness, and his ability to trust his senses. Sherlock clings to that disguise, because he believes that without it he is nothing.** Under the influence of it, he snaps at John “I don’t have friends.” He believes that.Sherlock in that moment is completely stripped of his [sociopath] disguise - he’s fearful, emotional, and believes that he is worth nothing and that he is alone. 

I believe that in the season five finale, Jim will set things up so that Sherlock thinks he starts _missing cases_ ** _because of sentiment_.** Isn’t that basically the ultimate “John or James” question? It’s pretty much the point of the show, and it’s a stronger version of [what Jim set up with Irene](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/111400354387/the-joy-of-redemption), which was his trial run of [The Final Problem](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/105279839079/the-final-problem). Sherlock will think he can’t solve cases anymore because he loves John. And to complicate matters, Sherlock believes John only loves him for the danger/excitement, so if he _can’t solve the cases, John will leave._ But John’s the reason he’s missing cases in the first place!

_This_ would be a great plan to [burn Sherlock’s heart out - because Sherlock does it to _himself:_ rejects sentiment, chooses to feel nothing over being in love with John and John being in love with him, that’s what Jim wants](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/100624299225/sherlocks-heart-hasnt-been-burnt-out-yet) \- and _t_ _his_ is also the moment – by far the best moment – for Sherlock and John to finally kiss.

So in the season five finale, Sherlock thinks he’s has lost his deductive powers because of sentiment - and likely the police think so, too - but John tells him he still believes in him - like in this scene in TRF - and then takes it the final step that he _almost does but doesn’t in this scene_ : “You’re still that clever. But even if you never solved another case again, it wouldn’t matter; I’d still love you.”

_That’s_ the kind of strength to get them to kiss: getting them together at their very worst - when Sherlock’s surest that John will never love him; when Sherlock’s insecurity is the final thing John needs to see that Sherlock really does “feel things like that” - is [much more powerful than having them kiss when everything’s good or because one of them might die](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/101121024682/the-johnlock-arc).

**Author's Note:**

> Transcribed from [my meta blog on tumblr](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/my-sherlock-meta). Much more there.


End file.
